Christmas Wishes

We hope that everyone has a very merry Christmas!

It's official. *sobs uncontrollably*

GM lets Saab die

Santa, I need a Christmas miracle!

Song of the day

Today's song on endless repeat - "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen" by Barenaked Ladies & Sarah McLachlan. Love the toe-tappin' upbeatness...

Note to self:

To avoid frustration, never purchase technology for your husband that is more interesting than you are.

4 foot 7

Sarah had her final endocrinologist appointment today, and we've officially discontinued the growth hormone injections. Sarah's final height appears to be 4'7", and frankly, she's not happy about it.

She doesn't really understand why the medicine won't make her grow anymore, and was just inconsolable as we were walking out of the office. I tried to explain that the medicine only works if your body is still growing on its own, and that her body is all done. She didn't want to be all done!

Me, I was just fuming as we left the office. In his closing comments, he said "well, it would have worked better if we had started earlier." OH! Like when I first came to you a year before we started the injections????!!! (insert lots of unladylike comments here) I had to pester and whine to even get him to consider it, he was the one that kept telling me to wait. Oh, how I wish I had listened to my gut and not my head (he's supposedly the best pediatric endocrinologist in the cities).

I think he now believes that growth hormone can be effective in kids with genetic disorders, but unfortunately, no one will benefit. He's retiring in March. I've learned a lesson, though - listen to your gut, and get a second opinion, because doctors are people too, and can be biased.

The school of life is way harder than college ever was, and the stakes are so much higher. I just wish I didn't need to learn the lessons at my kids' expense. Oh well, I guess they'll be learning lessons at my (literal) expense someday, so it's all a big karmic circle.

Favorite Christmas Song

My favorite Christmas song is, hands down, "O Holy Night".

If I actually listen to the song, there is no way for me to avoid crying in some way. Depending on the artist, it may be anything from just tearing up to full-on sobbing. (Josh Groban, April 2009, when on the treadmill working out. Seriously. I was simultaneously breathing hard, crying, and snuffling in the middle of April while listening to my iPod. It was so not pretty.)

And it's not something that only happens in private. One of my most embarrassing memories is, as a newlywed, being at a women's meeting at church with my mother-in-law. There was a soloist who beautifully sang "O Holy Night", and I could NOT stop weeping. Turn on the taps, tears streaming down my face, weeping. It was all I could do to just keep quiet, and all I kept thinking was "My mother-in-law now knows that her son married a complete nutcase!" People in the room were staring at me, not the soloist. Sigh.

And still, 14 Christmases later, the song still gets to me. Every single time. I want them to play it at my funeral. With my luck, I'll die in August, but hey... everybody already knows I'm crazy.

Baby, it's bleepin' cold outside

So, we're on the verge of a big storm, and things are feeling wintry around here.

I've been walking Madilyn to school in the mornings, and have been really frustrated at how cold my hands get. With sage Western wisdom, my husband declared that my hands were cold because I wasn't wearing a hat. On my head.

Hmmmm... OK. I'll bite. So today I wore a balaclava (google it), hat, glove liners, and double thick gloves with Thinsulate. (That's 3 layers of glove, people - rending my hands completely useless) And my warmest winter coat. And I still couldn't feel my fingers after the first 5 minutes.

Well, that's not entirely true. I WISHED I couldn't feel my fingers, because they were SCREAMING in pain with how cold they were. It actually took 25 minutes for them to go numb. All this, and the temps are still in the double digits. Things are not looking good for the rest of the winter season...

Car Troubles

This is so trivial that I feel silly blogging about it, and, quite frankly, it is not the biggest problem currently on my plate... but, here goes.

I'm heartbroken over my car.

Let me explain. The lease on my 2008 Saab 9-3 SportCombi is up at the end of June '10, and I'll be turning it in and most likely getting a Chevy Traverse. The Traverse is a fine vehicle - I've driven my parent's Buick Enclave (same car, basically) for the last week, and had nary a problem. Roomy, handles well, meets all my needs, and then some. I'll finally be able to offer rides to others, and the kids won't have their knees under their chins.

But it's not my Saab. It doesn't shoot out like a rocket when you tap the accelerator. It doesn't hug the curves when you (accidentally, of course) find yourself taking an offramp at greater than the posted speed. It doesn't stop on a dime. And it doesn't get those "what kind of car is that?" rubbernecker stares when you're driving. The Traverse is a good, sensible, reasonably stylish car for a SAHM whose primary function is taxi driver. Which is me. I completely fit the expected demographic for this vehicle.

Now, I'm not sure what the actual demographic for Saab owners is (and I think it varies widely) but somehow, I like the feeling of being, well, just a little bit different. Odd, perhaps, in a funky, quirky sort of way. I like the sentiments expressed in an article in the Financial Times:

Individuality – a kind of Swedish, unpretentious individuality – therefore lurks in many conversations with Saab owners. Tom Barnicoat, the former chief executive of Endemol, the Big Brother production company, has driven Saabs for 25 years. He ­rhapsodised about one of Saab’s signature eccentricities – the ignition key set in the floor (“It’s so fantastic! It needs no explanation because there is no explanation!”) – before describing Saab as an “anti-brand brand” for ­people who resist easy categorisation.

The commercial drawback of being an “anti-brand brand”, of course, is that many people drive Saabs precisely because other people don’t. ­Originality abhors a crowd. On the plus side, however, the cars can end up being whatever their drivers want them to be, even political statements. Jonathan Powell, Tony Blair’s former chief of staff, is one of Barnicoat’s oldest friends. Powell switched to Saabs in 1994, when he started working for Blair. “It is a suitable car for liberal left people,” he told me. “It’s that kind of car. Not just because it’s Swedish, but because of the sloping back and the history of it.” Do you really mean that? I asked. I had not previously considered the political significance of my car’s sloping back. Powell was adamant. “God, you’d never have a right-wing person driving a Saab. They couldn’t. Could they?” (Knight, Sam, "Why the Saab inspires intense feelings", Financial Times, July 25 2009, emphasis added)

For the record, right-wing people can and do drive Saabs... but this is not a political blog.

Anyway, for the past few months I've been struggling with the idea of giving up my Saab and the self-identity it imbues in favor of practical concerns like passenger capacity and legroom. I had reached an uneasy peace, telling myself that once my kids were grown and I didn't feel the need to move entire kid battalions from one end of town to another, I would get another Saab. I could reassume the quirky identity abandoned in favor of practicality.

Fate is fickle, though, and although the verdict isn't final, but it looks as if Saab the company will soon shut down as part of GM's restructuring. So much for that future, and hence my despair. I know this is silly - for heaven's sake, my youngest is in therapy to overcome her attachment to inanimate objects, and I must repeat "it's just a thing" at least 10 times a day - but I can't seem to shake this irrational attachment to my car.

But, apparently, I can take solace that I am not alone:

The company may never have been a conspicuous financial success, but its cars have always overflowed with feeling. Like Rolex, Apple or Harley-Davidson, there is something mysterious – albeit modest and Scandinavian – about Saab that, over the years, has transcended its marketing and publicity materials and been appropriated by the people who drive the cars....

The fixation is apparently international. After studying 1.2 million postings on “Motor Talk”, ­Germany’s ­largest motoring web forum, Rüdiger Hossiep, a psychologist at the ­University of Ruhr in Bochum, concluded this summer that Saab drivers have the highest levels of “psychological involvement” with their cars: more than 10 times the passion of the average Volkswagen driver. ...

Such things are not easy to explain. When I asked Hossiep, the ­German psychologist, what lay behind the feelings of Saab drivers for their cars, I almost heard him shake his head down the phone. “It is not objective,” he said. “It is not realistic. Really there are no facts for it.” (ibid.)

So true. There are no facts for it. It makes no sense to want to keep a car that doesn't meet my family's needs. It makes even less sense to keep one that will soon be without a dealership network, and for which parts will become increasingly difficult to find. It's foolish and irrational. No one should be that attached to or defined by a car. It's not healthy.

And still, I know I will cry when I hand over the keys at the end of June, both for the loss of my beloved car and for who I was when I drove it.

40% off

I received two great coupons in my inbox - 40% off of a single title at Barnes & Noble; one online and one in the store. YAY!

The books that I purchased - one on Asperger Syndrome and Adolescents (Sarah) and another on dealing with OCD/hoarding (Madilyn). SIGH.

Can't wait until my biggest problem in life is deciding which trashy novel I should buy...!

Nine Words Women Use

Received this today. ROFL! so true. Sent to my husband with the instruction "read and memorize. "

NINE WORDS WOMEN USE

1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
4. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
5. Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
6. That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
7. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will bring on a 'whatever').
8. Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!
9. Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

* Send this to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology.

A Bright Moment

So a lady working in Subway today made my day. She was sitting at one of the tables with a clipboard and lots of papers strewn around. Because it was the lunch hour, there was a line waiting to order.

She looked up as I entered and got into line, then stood up and came over to me with her clipboard. She told me she worked for Subway and was doing a survey, and would I like to answer a few questions to get a free sub. Skeptical, but always interested in a free lunch, I agreed.

Her first question was "Are you between the ages of 18 and 34?".

HA HA HA! "Nope," I answered.

She looked at me in embarrassment, and said "OH! I'm sorry. I'm only looking for people in the 18 to 34 year old age bracket. I've already reached my quota on other ages, so I can't use you. I'm sorry."

"Oh, OK, " was my response, but inside I was thinking...

SHE ACTUALLY THOUGHT I WAS CLOSE TO 34!!!!

Shaving 10 years off my age is way better than a free lunch, any day!

Crushing, hard

So I'm totally in love, and crushing, hard.

My new guy goes with me everywhere, tells me what to do, and helps me do it. He's become my constant companion, and I feel lost without him. I can't even remember what life was like before he came into my life. If I ever lost him, I'd be heartbroken.

Ahhh. My iPhone.

This morning I checked my email, Facebook, reviewed my calendar for the day, created a to-do list, and read my scriptures, all without ever leaving my warm, fluffy, flannel-sheeted bed.

Almost makes waking up worthwhile.

iGot it!

Pigs are flying and Satan is ice skating...

I have an iPhone!

Don't plan on talking to me for the next week, 'cause I'm going to be one of those annoying people who pay more attention to their phone than life around them.

YAY!

Fall... stolen

Here's a mini rant on the fact that I have been ROBBED of my fall! Seriously, September was in the 80's, warmer than most of the crazy summer, making it miserable for the kids going back to (the non-air-conditioned) school. Our apple picking session, normally the last weekend in September, would have been more comfortable with short sleeves and maybe even shorts.

I was dealing with all of that, figuring that I would get my weeks of beautiful fall foliage, 50-60 degree temps... and then I woke up Saturday and saw this.

I know this is Minnesota and all, but people... it didn't go away until late in the afternoon! On Sunday night, we actually had an accumulation, that is still on the ground on Tuesday. There is a SNOWMAN on my front lawn! In early OCTOBER! grrrrrr.....

I walked Madilyn to school in a significant snowstorm on Monday, and muttered and grumbled as I arrived home drenched from the wet, sticky stuff. IF I knew that the snow would stick around long enough and thick enough to be groomed for skiing, I could have been appeased, but this is just... wrong.

I was robbed. Where is my autumn????

The newest Poulsen!

Welcome to Marbles, the latest addition to our family! Apparently, I was killing off fish too quickly, and my friend Ann took pity on my children and offered us their rabbit. Thinking perhaps, that warm blooded mammals are harder to kill than cold blooded vertebrates??? Sheesh, I sure hope she's right! This one might be hard to flush... (ugh)

My friend Kate is not so sure; she's sticking by the "Toxic Girl" nickname that I earned during the fish debacle. I hope to prove her wrong... and hey, they didn't all die... just 9 out of 11. Okay, that's a 81% mortality rate, but still. The remaining two have survived for 45 days.

Back to the bunny. Marbles is a very healthy sized English Spot rabbit; she's larger than most cats. (For reference, the arm of the couch is 9 1/2" tall). She's been with us for about a week on a trial basis, and we've officially confirmed that she can stay. Despite the fact that she has a lot more personality than goldfish, Sarah remains attached to Goldie and Nemo. So, Marbles has become known as Madilyn's rabbit. Fine by me, since she feels ownership for the food and litter box as well! We'll see how long that lasts...

Here's a picture of her, with all her rabbitude...

And no, Marbles can't shoot laser beams from her eyes. That would be cool, though.

A Trip to the Principal's Office

So... the three of us are driving home from picking up Sarah after her "hang out and do stuff" club at school, and she announces that she was sent to the principal's office today. What??? Here's a rough transcript:

S: "I had to go to the principal's office today. I was very bad."

L: "Really? What did you do?"

S: "I spit."

L: "You spit? Why did you spit?"

S: "I spit on the floor."

L: "Well, that's not OK. But WHY did you spit? What happened?"

S: silence. "I was bad."

L: "What made you spit?"

S: "I spit."

L: giving up on trying to figure out "why", because I NEVER get an answer on that one... "What happened when you went to the principal's office? What did he say?"

S: "I shouldn't spit." (OK, I guess I should have seen that one coming)

L: "Do you have a punishment? What happens next?"

S:"I won't spit on the floor anymore."

L: "Well, that's good. But there must be consequences. What do you think your punishment should be?" (Now, at this point, I'm not willing to commit to anything, because I don't even know if this story is even true. My girl has a hazy line between fiction and reality...)

S: "I do not know." (Default answer for anything she doesn't want to answer. Again, could have seen that one coming...)

L: "Well, I'm going to have to think about this, and we'll decide your punishment later." (At this point, I'm thinking... I'm SO going to open her backpack the minute we get home and verify all of this...)

Long story short, I couldn't find confirmation of this incident anywhere in her bag, nor online (all school records are online), but Sarah and I decided that no TV the next day would be an appropriate punishment.

I emailed her teacher, who then related the true story... Sarah didn't spit on the floor, she spit on another student! (no reason, no provocation). Then, after announcing that she was bad, she spit on the floor. She declared to the teacher that she was very naughty, and insisted that she had to go to the principal's office. Apparently, all of the staff were trying to keep a straight face as Sarah wailed about how naughty she was. She actually broke into tears on the way down to the principal's office, and her para turned her around to bring her back to the classroom (boo). Her teacher said, "Nope. She needs to go." and marched her down there (YAY!). So, Dr. Schmidt got a chance to lecture Sarah on not spitting, and she was free to go.

Sigh. What a drama queen. I have no doubt that this was all orchestrated by her, and I'm left with the question that always goes unanswered....WHY??

Personal Revelation

I've been greatly concerned regarding my lack of progress in... well, everything.. in my life lately. Although not concerned enough to actually do anything about it, I did feel a little better after reading an article on procrastination in Psychology Today. The difference between laziness and procrastination is that one involves guilt and the other doesn't. Since my life seems ruled by guilt...

YAY! I'm not lazy!!! I'm just a world-class procrastinator!!!

Again to the saying on my kitchen wall... "If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done."

This week's tunes

What's on repeat on my ipod: Leave Out All the Rest by Linkin Park

Also recently discovered the following groups (yes, I know I'm behind the curve!):

• Shinedown (Breaking Inside, If You Only Knew, Second Chance)
• Theory of a Dead Man (Not Meant to Be)
• Train (Calling All Angels)
• 3 Doors Down (Here Without You)

and, a big departure from the above, Chris Brown's Forever is also getting a lot of play during my workouts. Man, I wish I could dance.

Twisted, Confused, and Completely Lacking Credibility

At my recent physical, I learned quite a bit about myself.

First off, I am (physically) twisted. Not withstanding my mental status (see item 2), I'm a wreck. After telling my doc that I felt "out of sorts" and "not aligned", she referred me to a physical therapist. The therapist, whom I love, declared that I resemble someone cut in half and reassembled by a drunken magician. Apparently, my hips point in one direction, and my upper torso in the opposite... which explains the 7 months of pain in my glute, and my bum knee. So I'm doing some pretty bizarre exercises to "balance" me out, and I go once a week for therapy. I swear I will end up with my left arm longer than my right with how hard they pull on it, but for now, I have faith that I will eventually straighten out.

Secondly, my mental status, or lack of coherent thought. This has been a big problem lately. I am simply in a deep fog... I just sit around (see previous post regarding "potato" status). Anyway, this, combined with my persistent lack of weight loss, has led my doctor to suspect insulin resistance (or pre-diabetes). So now I'm taking metformin to help my body properly use glucose. She started me out on a very low dose to minimize side effects, so it will take a while to know if this is a successful treatment.

And finally, and most depressingly, I've learned that I am indeed, perimenopausal. So the rollercoaster ride of hormones has begun... leading to the loss of all credibility with my husband. After all, if I have a complaint, it's a lot easier to blame the hormones...

So, as I stated... I'm twisted, confused, and completely lacking credibility. Gotta love it.

Morning Manipulation

It's Friday morning, and both kids need a bath before school. This announcement is met with groans and moans.

Sarah opens the volley by telling her sister "You go first."

"No, you go!" Madilyn responds.

"I do not want to go."

At this point, I declare "Someone's got to go. I'm going upstairs right now to start the bath."

As I turn and begin climbing the stairs, I hear Sarah say "I'll go first."

Madilyn quickly responds with "NO! I'll go first. Mom! I'm coming!!" and passes me running up the stairs.

I turn around to see Sarah settle back into her chair with a small smile and quietly say to herself "OK, I'll stay here."

This might sound like a fairly commonplace sibling exchange, but that is EXACTLY the point! And even if it makes me a bad parent, I am proud of my oldest for shamelessly manipulating her younger sister.

Pure Potato

Sarah was home from school with a purported stomach ache... Since I was feeling equally nauseated, I laid on the couch while she sat in the chair and watched TV.

I awakened to a figure standing over me, declaring:

You. Are. A. Couch. Potato!

Perhaps you have to know her, but it was pretty hilarious... after the annoyance of a nap interrupted faded.

Tonawanda? Whatever.

Tonawanda, New York.

That's my husband's new assignment, to handle capital equipment installations in the Tonawanda facility. I was actually a little bit excited when he told me the project there is a lot smaller and won't take up as much of his time, and he wouldn't need to travel there every week. Then I realized the catch... he never said he was taken off the Alexandria assignment.

And he wasn't. Now he has two facilities for which he is responsible. So if he's not in New York, he's upstate. Bottom line - he's not at home.

I am grateful he has a job.
I am grateful he has a job.
I am grateful he has a job.
Repeat ad nauseum.

Grumpy, Grumpy, Grumpy

I am not dead.

There are days when I wish I was, but I am still among the living. I have been in a very grumpy rut lately, and every post that I write ends up sounding bitter and snarky... not something that I want to put out there for all to see. I'm lost without a BFF, and my head has not been a very pleasant place to be for the past few months. I'm hopeful that spring will help me turn things around. Gary's advice: I need to get a best friend.

Well, thanks. Unfortunately, I've lost the directions to the BFF store and so I haven't been able to run out and pick one up. Maybe if I google it...

I have a huge backlog of postings to put out there, and I will. Soon. But, since it's supposed to rain all week (increasing my grumpiness), maybe not that soon.

Strange but true...

Mini miracle: I did laundry today (no, that's not the miracle) and, after transferring the clothes to the dryer, I saw a round black thing at the bottom of the washer tub. Thinking it was a button or something, I reached in and grabbed it.

It was a blueberry! Unsquashed! After a full load of laundry! Probably the cleanest berry ever known to man, and I threw it in the trash. Seriously - what kind of mutant blueberry makes it though an entire wash load without getting smooshed? Anyway, knowing how hard blueberry stains are to remove, I consider this my personal miracle for the day.

PS - anyone with children knows that it is futile to wonder how a blueberry got in the laundry in the first place. Remember, I am the mother of a child who required surgical removal of a pinto bean from their nostril after pretending to be an elephant.

ABC's of Me

I just completed this on Facebook, and thought I'd post it here for posterity. That assumes, of course, that it is worth remembering... Anyway, if you're on facebook, friend me! I don't have enough self-confidence to send out friend requests.

A - Age: 43

B - Bed size: California King. Do you know how hard it is to find sheets that fit, now that I no longer live out west?

C - Chore you hate: Washing the floor. I don't know why, but I really hate this one. Not that it seems useless, but it just doesn't last.

D - Dog's name: No dog. No cat, either. No non-human moving creatures whatsoever, unless you count the dust bunnies under the furniture. They move, but I haven't named them.

E - Essential start to your day item: Wii. If I don't check in with my little Wii Fit balance board buddy, I feel like I've cheated for the rest of the day.

F - Favorite color: Peanut butter brown (in my house) and blue (clothing only - hate it in my decor, except on my beloved 18 year old blue couches, which are so comfy that I love them in spite of their color)

G - Gold or Silver: Silver

H - Height: 5' 7"

I - Instruments you play(ed): clarinet, for 6 years. Say what you will, but yes, I was a band, marching band, and orchestra geek. I've always wanted to learn the piano, but haven't yet pursued that dream.

J - Job title: Stay-at-home-Mom

K - Kid(s): Sarah (12), Madilyn (7), Gary (43)

L - Living arrangements: Married and living in a split level house whose design and decor completely avoid reflecting my personality and tastes.

M - Mom's name: Mary Lou (or "Lou") but I've only ever called her that in a crowded room to get her attention. Ever tried calling out "MOM!" in a room full of ladies? Right.

N - Nicknames: None that I want to admit to. Ever. There are probably a few used behind my back, as well... I did teach teens for more than a few years...

O - Overnight hospital stay other than birth: 2008 heart attack scare, which thankfully just turned out to be stress.

P - Pet Peeve: People who believe that the rules only apply to everyone else.

Q - Quote from a movie: "Inconceivable!" "You keep 'a using that word. I do not think it 'a means what you think it 'a means." Wallace Shawn as Vizzini and Mandy Patinkin as Inigo Montoya in Princess Bride

R - Right or left handed: Right

S - Siblings: 1 younger sister (seester!)

T - Time you wake up: Alarm goes off at 4:50 am. I have recently set a goal of being a "one slap only" snoozer. I have a love/hate relationship with the snooze button. I love it when I am half-awake, and hate its very existence an hour later when I am running late from using it too much.

U- Underwear: Yes. Without question.

V - Vegetable you dislike: Brussels Sprouts. Who likes those things, anyway? Aren't they just the weeds of the vegetable world?

W - Ways you run late: I'm usually on time, but we do rush to make it that way, and the rushing can always, always, always be traced back to the computer, one way or another.

X - X-rays you've had: Can't think of x-rays, but I have had MRI and CT scans of my head in the past few years. Amazingly, everything is normal between my ears... at least as far as the medical profession defines it.

Y - Yummy food you make: No one raves about my cooking, except perhaps to rave that I actually cooked something. Absolute favorite dish (when prepared by someone else): Chicken Korma.

Z - Zoo favorite: Pandas. Their primary activities in life are eating and sleeping, and they look adorable doing them. What's not to emulate?

Congratulations, Graduate!

Here's a shout out to my sister-in-law Rachel, who graduates today with a master's degree in statistics from BYU. You rock! I can SO see you as the ESPN stats girl!

In honor of your day, below is a statistics related joke. And yes, I had to google "statistics jokes", and yes, I didn't understand 90% of the results... but hey, engineer jokes probably don't make much sense to you. Well, maybe they do, being married to a Poulsen, but anyway, here's the joke.

A man was in a hot-air balloon. Soon he found himself lost with nothing but green fields for as far as the eye could see. Eventually, he happened to float over a man who was walking his dog.

He leaned over the basket and yelled out, "Hello! Where am I?"

The man on the ground replied, "You're about 20 feet above the ground in a hot-air balloon."

The balloonist cursed him and shouted back, "You must be a statistician."

"Why do you say that?" asked the man on the ground.

"Well," shouted the balloonist, "You're absolutely correct but your answer was completely useless."

"Oh I see," replied the walker, "And you must be a manager."

"Actually, you're right," said the balloonist. "How did you know?"

"Well," said the walker, "First you were lost. Then, after working out what information you needed to sort yourself out, you asked someone else to get it for you. Now, that you have the information, you're still lost, but it's someone else's fault."

THIS is what I'm up against...

Last night Gary and I watched a movie (Evan Almighty) after we put the kids to bed. As I've been doing lately, I decided to use the "free step" option on the Wii, which keeps track as you step on and off the balance board, and allows you to change the channel to watch something else while you exercise. (I use the term "exercise" loosely... basically, you are marching in place for 30 minutes, but hey - it burns more calories than sitting on the couch.)

So, we're all set up, and I'm marching away, watching the movie, and I notice that there are soft clinking noises coming from behind me. I look over my shoulder to see my husband, lounging on the couch, feet up on the coffee table... eating a bowl of ice cream.

"Does it bother you to eat that ice cream while I'm here, exercising?" I ask.

"No, not at all," he innocently replies, giving me a puzzled look.

I sigh and turn back to the movie, grateful for once for my lactose intolerance.

An Apostle's Easter Thoughts on Christ

I just wanted to share this wonderful video. It's a wonderful way to spend four and a half minutes. If you'd like to see it bigger, you can do so here.

The best part

As anyone knows, the absolute best part of new appliances is... the BOX! I may have gotten a new dishwasher (heaven!! love it!!), but the kids got a new HOME, and I got hours of peace, without the kids being parked in front of a screen. Win-win!

Happy Anniversary

So it's not technically our anniversary yet (13 more days) but I got my present early. At left is the "before", and below is the "after" picture of my desk. As you can see, my trusty Samsung monitor has been replaced with a sleek 23" Acer widescreen. After a few months of intermittently turning faces purplish, then red, then snapping back to normal, I decided that the Samsung CRT was due for retirement. After all, how can you edit photos when the colors on the screen keep changing?? After consulting "the computer guy" I used my super online shopper skills to find an awesome sale (I love newegg.com!); kudos to my husband for agreeing to an anniversary present that he will rarely use.

Anyway, I love the new monitor, even if it does make me feel old (the words are so tiny at 1920 x 1080... and yes, I know that you can adjust for that, but choosing "extra large" fonts just makes me feel even more visually impaired than I am, and that's saying A LOT). The best thing about the situation is not obvious from the pictures - I have doubled the work space on my desk. The CRT was so big that it came within a few inches of the front edge. The new setup allows me to put a 8.5 x 11" sheet of paper in front of me. Heaven!

Now, anyone who knows me (and why else would you be reading this blog??) knows that the LAST thing I need is extra incentive to spend time on the computer. So, here's hoping that I can fight the temptation to spend all day in front of my shiny new screen.

and yes, I know I need artwork on the walls, but I've been in a minimalist rut lately...

Give me SPRING!

This is what greeted me when I woke up this morning. I want to mention that a similar thing happened on April 1st, but I wrote it off as a cruel April Fool's Day joke from Mother Nature. At least on that day, the sun was shining.

view from my deck

view from my desk

I WANT SPRING! NOW! please. Or at least give me enough snow so that I can go skiing!

Magic Tree House: The Musical

So this afternoon, we took our girls to see Magic Tree House, the Musical at the State Theatre. Our seats were in the 9th row from the stage, so we were pretty close. The view was excellent, but in the future, I think we'll try moving back a bit... my girls are still too timid, and the action was a bit too much at times.

Anyway, it was a decent production, and we managed to stay in our seats the whole time (both girls wanted to get up and leave at least once, but we were able to talk them into staying). I think that, overall, they both really enjoyed themselves. At the end, Sarah said "and Jack and Annie lived happily ever after. The end." and gave it a "thumbs up".

Madilyn's favorite part was Jack and Annie singing "What Would I Do Without You?", which she declared was "beautiful".

Of course, no event would be complete without the inevitable souvenirs, so we are now the proud owners of the Magic Tree House: The Musical CD, as well as a light-up magic wand that bears an uncanny resemblence to a light saber. Apparently, my aversion to purchasing toy weapons has been lost along the wayside...

After the show, we walked two blocks to Applebee's for dinner. Doesn't seem like far, but when you've got Sarah, well, it's an accomplishment! I don't think she would have done it for a lesser restaurant, but Applebee's is her favorite...

We returned right at bedtime, but Sarah insisted that I import the CD into iTunes and add it to her iPod so that she could listen before she went to sleep. Madilyn was wishing that she had a magic tree house so that she could point to one of the pictures in her Speed Racer book and say "I wish I could go there." That girl lives for Speed Racer... but that's another story.

Anyway, my girls really love the Magic Tree House book series, and it was neat to see Jack and Annie "brought to life." A fun family outing!

Diet Advice

For those of you who watch what you eat , here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION
Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

A thought I didn't want to lose

I'm not an ocean, full of unseen depth, but a shallow puddle, reflecting the sun. It's enough.

Not Much Better

So, it's a month since I posted about my rededication to my weight loss efforts, and I'm here to report... nothing. nada. zippo. zilch. I actually weigh 1 pound more. I am officially insane.

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. - Albert Einstein

So, in trying to break the cycle of insanity, I am announcing a trial separation from my treadmill. We are parting ways, and I have found a new (old) partner in my quest... my ancient Nordic Track ski machine.

Initial results are not promising - every day for the last week I have walked a mile on the treadmill to warm up, then spent 30-40 minutes skiing. Lots of sweat, but no change on the scale. My kind-hearted friends will say "it takes time..." or "you're building muscle" or something else, but

I want results!! I have been on a plateau for 3 months!! ARRRGHH!!

The Last Tooth

Today Sarah lost her final baby tooth. I guess there's nothing "baby" about my girl, now.

Good news: the tooth fairy can take some time off. Bad news: loss of the final tooth was what the orthodontist was waiting for before beginning "treatment". Ka-ching! Ouch.

We're off!

Although he's been asking us to do it for over a year, the girls and I are just now venturing north to Alexandria, to "see where Daddy works." We're headed out this afternoon with a car full of Care Bears (Sarah will not leave them behind) to stay at the Arrowwood Lodge for a few days while Gary works.

Details to follow!

Still Growing

Sarah had an appointment with the endocrinologist today, and she's grown 3/4" in the last 3 months. He was excited because we've gotten her onto the (growth) curve. She's still 5th percentile, but she's actually on the curve now!

Her current height is 4' 8". There's a chance that she could hit 5 feet! This is a big deal, because I'd like her to eventually be tall enough to reach the microwave, the back burner of the stove, the kitchen cabinets, etc.

Anyway, I just can't tell you how proud I am of the way that she handles the whole thing. Every night we come at her with a needle, and she never says a word (except an occasional low-key "ow"). No fuss, no struggle. All she asks is that we cover the injection site with a Nemo band-aid. A small price to pay!

Jinx

I should have electronically knocked on wood when I wrote my post about not being sick much this winter. Friday the 13th I was hit with a miserable cold, and spent most of the day just laying around.

The weekend wasn't a lot better, and during Sunday night's dinner, Madilyn commented "Mom, maybe you should get rid of that story on your blog and then you won't be sick."

Too bad a jinx doesn't work that way!

Anyway, today is the first day of the kids' spring break, and whenever I try to talk I start hacking like a tuberculosis patient. Oh, it's gonna be a fun week.

Another Sick Day

All in all, we have done pretty well this winter in regard to sick days. Certainly better than my poor sister, whose family seems to have offended the Health Gods, and is under continuous attack from the viral army. But, today (Monday) Sarah sits in her chair, watching the Disney channel. She seems fine, but is complaining of a stomachache. Normally I'd dismiss it as a case of Disneyitis (a desire to stay home and watch TV), but she was up at 4 am asking to stay home today, so I cut her some slack.

It probably doesn't reflect well on my parenting to note that if we had gotten the 3 inches of snow they were predicting on Sunday, I'd have packed her off to school and gone skiing. Lucky for her, the snow failed to show.

A new song!

Ooh! Ooh! I just discovered a new treadmill worthy song... Gotta Be Somebody by Nickelback. (warning - the video is really strange, but it's a cool song). I'm actually excited for 5:30 am tomorrow!!

Suggestions for tunes always welcomed...

Open to Comments

Just wanted to let everyone know that I've fixed the problem with comments on this blog. Apparently, people were trying to leave them, but I didn't choose my blog settings properly, and comments were being rejected. Sorry about that!

At my end, I just figured either no one was reading the blog... or I just wasn't interesting. Says a lot about me that that didn't stop me from putting things out there... apparently, I have a need to say things even if no one is listening! I believe that's direct from Narcissism 101...

Why Trampolines Are Not Safe in Minnesota

I received an email with the above title, and sighed. We, of course, have a trampoline. I expected horror stories, etc., etc... and lots of parental guilt.

Here's what I got.

Movin' slow

So after Tuesday's incredibly fun time xc skiing, Kate and I went again on Wednesday. It wasn't quite as much fun; in spite of a regrooming, the trail had degraded quite a bit. Lots more grass, and ice in places. Plus, even though it was warmer, the wind was WICKED. I slathered on sunscreen (SPF 70) this time, but still ended up redfaced... windburn, this time.

Side note on sunscreen: every time I use my spf 70 sunscreen, I hear my brother-in-law Ryan's voice saying "70??! Why don't you just use PAINT?" Sadly, I have just enough melanin to avoid being classified an albino, but not a single cell more. This girl don't tan. evah.

Anyway, I digress. We still had a good time, and I didn't taste the trail even once! We only did about 2 miles, but it turns out that was enough... I think I literally creaked out of bed this morning. I'm movin' a little slow. Nothing specific, just very, very tired. Being the glutton for punishment that I am, we've got another trip planned for Friday - heading north for some better snow. Temps here are scheduled to be above freezing for the rest of the week, so our local snow days are numbered. For the first time in .... well, ever.... that actually makes me sad!

Louis CK on Conan

I happened on this viral video today, and I haven't laughed so hard in a long time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jETv3NURwLc

"Can you give it a second? It's going to SPACE."
"You're sitting in a chair, in the SKY."

Granted, it's a little crude in places, and I definitely don't agree with Louis CK's larger body of work, but in this clip, he made me laugh.

ok, that's a surprise...

I woke up this morning, fully expecting to pay the price for yesterday's xc skiing trip. The surprise? The most painful part of my body is... my face.

I forgot to put on sunscreen! So, today I am red-faced, both literally and figuratively. The rest of me isn't so bad, actually...

XC skiing... finally!

After (probably more than) 13 years, I finally put the skis on and hit the trails with my friend Kate. She loaned me some snowpants - I don't even remember what happened to mine - and was patient with me as we slowly shuffled off.

I was surprised at how quickly it came back to me; I guess it's like bike riding (which I plan to start again when the snow melts). Anyway, the trails that we used were at a park directly across the street from the girls' school... which, of course, is less than a mile from my house. I officially have no more excuses for not getting out (except maybe lack of snow... but where we live, that's not normally a problem).

It's so much more fun to exercise with a friend, and I'm glad that I let Kate talk me into going. We had a great time! Turns out, we have a lot in common. She's even a fellow Saab owner, and hey, how many of those are there? She trumps me on the coolness factor though, 'cause a convertible is loads cooler than a station wagon.

I only fell once, but Kate captured it for posterity, so I'm including it in the interest of full disclosure. We actually skiied over 4 miles, which was probably too much for the first time out...tomorrow I'll probably pay the price. But for now, just happy memories and a feeling of accomplishment.

All OVER the place

With my parents in town, lots of things happened in the past week or so... and I haven't had time to post much. So, try not to get whiplash reading my blog as I post things sequentially. Just because you've already read the top post doesn't mean that there's not new stuff... just work forward from Feb 14th.

Thank you to everyone for the kind wishes and gifts on my birthday and on Sarah's - we're working on the thank you notes, but they're slow coming.

A New Month, A New Beginning

Many people are aware of my ongoing (lifelong? never ending?) quest to lose a few pounds. Frankly, I'm tired of the Wii telling me "that's overweight!" in its chipper little voice every single #?!#@ morning. Anyway, after ending up in the hospital with chest pains last March (stress, not heart attack as feared) I have been working hard to get into shape. My treadmill and I have bonded... we have a sweatfest every morning at 5:45 am. Mostly, the results have been good. But, for the past two months, I haven't lost a pound.

I'm blaming February. Consider the evidence:

Valentine's day - chocolate bliss
My birthday - lots of treats
My parents visit - eating out
Girl Scout cookie delivery - Tagalongs=PB & chocolate=heaven
Sarah's birthday - cake and treats

Add short days, not much sunshine, poor produce selection, and you just have a prescription for weight gain. To my credit, I haven't really gained any weight, either.

The real frustration? Somewhere along the line, I got my husband to agree that when I reached my goal weight (ie - when the Wii says "that's normal") I could finally get the macbook that I have longed for. My initial projections (hey, I am still an engineer at heart) showed me hitting my target in May/June, but I've strayed from the course, so I'm going to have to recalculate. I thought that if I went public on my blog, I'd have a little more accountability and therefore motivation.

'Cause seriously, those of you who know Gary know that he's just the tiniest bit conflicted in encouraging my weight loss when he knows it's going to cost him a big chunk of money. To his credit, though, he hasn't been tempting me with donuts and other evils. He's just Switzerland.

Here's to a new month, March! Let it be filled with healthier choices! (although, for the record, I will NOT give up my daily chocolate. That's medicinal. Seriously.)

I don't THINK so...

Sarah and I have started to do sit-ups together every morning, as part of her physical therapy. Madilyn will join us as well, if she's awake. Anyway... my parents are in town, and Grandma was watching us help each other to do our 10 sit-ups.

Trying to help (?) she said, "Sarah, now that you're 12, you should do 12 sit ups."

Not missing a beat, Sarah turned to me and said "And you will do 43 sit ups!"

Thanks a lot, Grandma. That's SO not going to happen.

As simple as black and white?

Apparently my predilection for a black/white world view has been influenced by my upbringing. Consider the following advice (which, for the record, I completely support).

I was complaining to my dad about someone at church. This person had not fulfilled their responsibility, which resulted in a lot of extra stress and work for me. He commented that people like that are arrogant and self-centered, and need to be taught a lesson (or something to that effect). I then went on to counter with all of the hardship that this person had experienced in the past few weeks, and how things had been very difficult for them.

My dad looked at me for a moment, then said "Well, there it is. Either they're jerks who don't care about others, or they're people who are in a bind and should be forgiven. Don't keep waffling in the middle."

I thought there was a lot of wisdom in this observation. I do spend a lot of time waffling and complaining over things when I should just let go and move on. Hanging out in that gray area can be stressful, and I guess I never really broke it down like that. Thanks, Dad.

PS- Are you ALWAYS going to be smarter than me??

Playlist updates

I have this extremely annoying habit of listening to the same song over and over and over again, driving the people around me NUTS. To this day, my sister can't hear the song "The Look" by Roxette without screaming. (sorry sis! Thanks for loving me anyway). Anyway, my current fave is an oldie that I found on my iPod, covered in electronic dust, as it were. Bravado, by Rush, is a pretty awesome song.

If we burn our wings
Flying too close to the sun
If the moment of glory
Is over before it's begun
If the dream is won
Though everything is lost
We will pay the price,
But we will not count the cost

When the dust has cleared
And victory denied
A summit too lofty
River a little too wide
If we keep our pride
Though paradise is lost
We will pay the price,
But we will not count the cost

And if the music stops
There's only the sound of the rain
All the hope and glory
All the sacrifice in vain
[And] if love remains
Though everything is lost
We will pay the price,
But we will not count the cost

Since I've been pretty tight with my treadmill lately, I need some musical motivation to keep me going. It's nice to find songs that make you think.

It's a sad fact that things are so slow in my life lately that I've taken to posting song lyrics on my blog!

Enough!

Today we're scheduled to get hit with a BIG winter storm - up to 8 inches of snow. In my mind, I'll be on a plane, headed for someplace warm, like California. Enough of winter already!

Good news, I suppose, is that I'll finally be able to join my friend Kate for some xc skiing, now that the trails will have a good base (like that's what's been preventing me...)

I Don't Want to Grow Up

So I've been taking a life inventory of late, and decided that being a grown-up is highly over-rated. Seems like we spend all of our childhood waiting to be "grown-ups" so that we can do whatever we want. What no one tells you is that, once you become a grown-up, you STILL have to follow the rules, and probably spend even MORE time making choices based on other people. Sigh. I wish I was 6 again.

Sarah's new 'do

Sarah has struggled with trichotillomania (aka "trick" or hair pulling) for the last 2 years or so. At first, we tried to help by having her wear a beanie, thinking if she reached up to pull the hair, the beanie would remind her to stop. Unfortunately, this wasn't effective, but wearing the beanie became such a routine that there was no getting it off her head. period. She'd just reach under it to pull out her hair.

For whatever reason, she only pulls her hair using her left hand, never her right, so she had a pretty serious 80's style going on - super short on the left, long hair on the right. After she moved her pulling to the top of her head (think inverse mohawk), the left side started growing back in. For the past month or so, I've been trying to convince her to cut her hair short... balancing the two sides. It's a hard sell, since all her classmates have long, straight hair (even some of the boys!)

Anyway, she finally agreed to short hair, and after confirming it an hour or two later, and then not letting her back down the day of the appointment... she ended up with an adorable haircut! It's still very thin on top, but hey... comb-overs do work!

The best part of the deal... the change in hairstyle was enough to convince her to part with the beanie! OK, not totally, but now she only sleeps in it, and doesn't wear it to school. The fact that she's gotten TONS of positive feedback from her classmates really helps.

Let's hear it for small victories!!

PT Conferences: Madilyn

Madilyn is doing great in first grade. She's an amazing reader - she's reading at 3rd grade level! She's above average in both reading and math, and her only real problem is her tendency to prefer socializing to working.

But, it wouldn't be a conference without a black/white reference: Mrs. C commented that Madilyn has a hard time accepting problems that have more than one right answer, or more than one right way to do them. She just can't seem to wrap her head around that concept.

What am I doing to my poor kids?? I've always leaned toward black & white myself (gray can be SO confusing!) but I didn't realize the consequences were so far-reaching. My daughter is brought to tears by a geometry problem that has more than one answer! Sigh. I must have skipped a chapter in the parent handbook.

Oh, wait. I didn't get a parent handbook. Who do I talk to about that? Life would be so much easier if they came with instruction manuals... but instead I'm just makin' it up as I go!

PT conferences: Sarah

Tonight I went in for parent/teacher conferences. Sarah is doing well, and we mostly discussed her transition to middle school next year. I am worried that it will be a bit of a shock to her system... she's SO excited about the change, but I know she doesn't realize how different things will be. One example, as we drove past the middle school:

Sarah: "Where is the playground?"
Mom: "Middle school doesn't have a playground. There are fields for soccer, tennis, and baseball, but no playground equipment."
Sarah: "How can they swing at recess?" (Sarah swings every day)
Mom: "They don't have recess at middle school, honey."
long silence.
Sarah: "When do they swing?"
Mom: "They don't swing."
long, long silence.
Sarah: "Can I still swing at the park?"
Mom, relieved that she has come up with a solution: "Yes, of course!"

Since I don't have the best memories of middle school (does anyone?), I'm worried for her. But, I'm not doing her any favors by protecting her - it's better that she learns how to deal with things while she's still at home. I keep chanting that mantra - hopefully soon I'll believe it!

Cookie Factory

Our basement was overrun with Girl Scout cookies for a while as Madilyn and Grandpa organized a cookie-sorting party to prepare the orders for delivery. Sarah was also on-hand to offer some support.

My omission of one packing ticket caused quite a bit of commotion... "There's an extra box of Thin Mints!", but hey... I knew where it belonged. Not my fault they're not mind readers...

Anyway, I should be grateful that Madilyn started slowly this year, and only sold 118 boxes. She's so excited by the whole selling thing that next year, who knows how it will go! She gave me a year to get the system down.

Again, thanks to all who helped out!

They Made It

Well, Grandma & Grandpa braved the lake-effect snow, and made it to our house on Monday night. The kids are SO excited... and so is Mom. FREE babysitting!!

Released...sort of

The day that I have been longing for finally came today... Gary was released from the Bishopric!! Yeah! But wait. He was called as ward clerk, and has the same meeting schedule as... you guessed it... the Bishopric. So, he still leaves at 6 am on Sundays, and doesn't get home until after 3 pm.

Two happy side notes, though... he no longer has to call people to give talks, so maybe people will actually start answering their phones when they see our last name on their caller ID... and he gets to sit with us during Sacrament meeting. When he was released, Madilyn turned to me and whispered "Does this mean that Daddy will actually sit with us at church?" She started bouncing with happiness when I replied "Yes."

So now HE can be the human jungle gym during church!

A+ work

So my husband is so NOT one to toot his own horn, but I figured since his family reads this blog, I'll post it for everyone to see...

He had his performance appraisal, and got rated a 5 (out of 5). This is 3M's equivalent of a big, fat, gold star on his forehead. He was grumpy because the year he finally earned a rating that would net him a big, fat pay raise was the year that 3M cancelled ALL raises... but we both agreed that with the economy the way it is, the job security that comes with being a top performer is way more important.

Hurray for Gary!

Happy Birthday to Me

The night before my birthday, Madilyn asked to borrow my camera. Here is the result:

I love these kids!

Just a wagon, after all

So, last night, all my car delusions were put to rest. Gary and I were watching our favorite show, Chuck. The storyline involved Chuck and his spy partner/handler Sarah taking up residence in the suburbs as a typical, normal (read boring) married couple, living the good life on a cul-de-sac. Chuck is shown driving "home", and when they cut to a wide shot, I saw it... he was driving a 2008 Saab 9-3 SportCombi! My car! (except his was blue, not white).

Apparently, the car that I thought was cool is just a suburban cliche. Sigh. My sister-in-law was right... it IS just a station wagon. At least it's FAST.

Presidential Actions

From Madilyn's school assignment entitled "If I Were President":

If I were President, the first thing I would do is play basketball.

If I were President, I would eat pizza.

If I were President, I would travel to the Antarctic.

If I were President, I would had a pet hamster named Harry.

If I were President, I would pass a law that no hurting penguins.

If I were President, I would help Africa.

Just a glimpse into the mind of a girl who, at the moment, seems intent on saving artic wildlife with the help of a hamster named Harry... while eating pizza and playing basketball. I have no idea about the African reference...

Valentine Bliss

My girls delivered my valentine's day gifts today...

A supersize Hershey bar.
A Dove chocolate bar.
A Cadbury chocolate bar.
A bag of Hershey "Bliss" squares... chocolate, of course.

Do they know their momma or what? I'm floating down the happy river of endorphins...

Sadly funny

Apparently my husband got some razzing from co-workers after they overheard the following 30 second conversation:

"Hi... this is Gary." - short pause - "When I was there last week, I forgot to make my reservation for next week." - slightly longer pause - "right. See you then. Bye."

The above conversation was with the hotel in Alexandria, where his current project is underway. Reasons that this is sadly funny:

1. The front desk staff recognize him by his first name ONLY. A reasonably common name, at that.
2. They know his schedule - note that he did NOT tell them when he was arriving or departing.
3. They don't need a credit card to confirm his reservation.

Apparently, a similar conversation occurs each week with Jose, at the rental car agency.

At our house, we thrive on predictability, but I really think this is getting a bit out of hand...

Say What??

Madilyn had Girl Scouts last Tuesday, with one of the other moms substituting for one of the normal troop leaders. Sarah and I were at the school also, putting up artwork in the front showcase. As usual, Sarah got away from me, and headed over to where the Girl Scouts were wrapping up their activity. When I caught up with her, she was at the refreshment table, looking for a handout (typical!).

I introduced myself to the substitute leader as Madilyn's mom. After some pleasantries, she asked "Does your daughter have an autism diagnosis?"

Surprised, I replied that yes, she did.

"I thought so," replied the woman. "I have a 14 year old son with high functioning autism (aka Aspergers), and I recognized a lot of Madilyn's behaviors during our activity."

What??? Stop the train! "No, Sarah has autism... not Madilyn," I replied.

"What? Really? Oh. Well. Are you sure about Madilyn?"

"Yes, I'm sure," I said, starting to doubt myself. "What behaviors did you see?"

She went on to say that Madilyn has definite ideas about how things need to be done and about right and wrong. She was very involved in making sure that the other girls did things correctly and followed the rules, and seemed overly grown-up in the way that she dealt with things. The leader then concluded with "things are very black and white for her. There's really no gray area."

We chatted some more, and I told her that I believed that Madilyn's behaviors were more a product of living with someone with moderate/severe autism than a reflection of her own state of mind. After all, that's all Madilyn's ever known, and her social skills have developed in that environment. In our house, there really isn't any gray. We don't joke or kid around much, because Sarah takes everything so literally and gets so upset about things.

I haven't been able to accurately recreate the conversation - it really was more conversational than confrontational... but it was eye-opening. After coming home and thinking about it, I realized two things. First, that Sarah has a much greater effect on the entire household than I had ever realized. I haven't yet decided if that merits intervention or not.

Second, the gut-wrenching feeling that I experienced at the thought of Madilyn having autism was directly tied to how I see the condition... someone who will never live independently, get married, have a family, etc. But that's only Sarah's version of autism, and autism is different for everyone.

Even if Madilyn did fit the criteria (and I don't think she does), it's not a big deal. She IS going to be independent, have relationships, and live a full life, and that's what's important. She might be quirky and slightly OCD... but she could have gotten that from her mother just as easily as from her sister!

Anyway, the above is just another confirmation that I did a great job of naming my blog. It's my life! Welcome to it.

A new calling

So today at church I was released as the 1st Counselor in the Young Womens (YW) organization. Mixed feelings about that - I will really miss the energy of being with the youth, but it was a pretty demanding calling. I didn't last long - only 7 months! Strange timing, too, with Sarah entering YW at the beginning of March. I was planning on keeping her in line during activities, etc. Maybe it's time for her to venture out more on her own. Don't know.

My new calling is as 1st Counselor in Relief Society, responsible for education. That means that I'll get to fill in for any absent teachers/last minute emergencies. That will keep me on my toes! Luckily, a the last few years of teaching seminary, sunday school, and young women have prepared me well. If I can handle the youth, well, hopefully I can handle the adults! I'm not sure which group asks the tougher questions, though. I'll also be leading a teacher development class, so I'll get the chance to brush up on my teaching skills. Hmmm...I'm not sure if or how that "If you can't do, then teach" expression applies to teaching teachers...

I do know that the Lord knows what he's doing with all of these callings, and eventually I'll see the plan. Time to go get book-smart!

A lesson in goal setting

So Madilyn joined Girl Scouts, which means, of course, that we now have an in-house supplier for cookies! Her troop is not super-motivated when it comes to cookie selling (good at her age). They didn't set a troop goal for sales, and each girl was left to her own to decide if she wanted to set a goal.

Madilyn came home and told me that her goal was to sell 70 boxes. I was a little concerned, since we'd never done this before, and frankly, I didn't want the pressure of having to "make up the difference". I asked her how she came up with her goal, and she said, "well, I'm 7, and I just added a zero to the end."

Thank heaven she didn't think to add seven zeros!

Anyway, turns out GS cookies are ridiculously easy to sell, and she exceeded her goal by almost 50 boxes. Good work, girl! Thank you to all who contributed!!

Truth is FUNNY

I read Confessions of a 40-something woman online today, and loved it. Although I don't agree 100 %, it made me laugh, especially the line:

"What doesn't kill me does not make me stronger. It makes me anxious, bitchy, and vulnerable...but nobody wants to see that embroidered on a pillow."

For the record, I don't read Oprah.com... I got to the link via CNN. That's my story.

The Loud Shirt

So Gary purchases a new shirt at his favorite store (Cabela's), but is uncertain of its appropriateness for work, seeing as it is green and red plaid. He and I are talking about this early in the morning, as he's getting ready for work, while I'm still laying in bed, trying to wake up.

"Green and red plaid?" I ask.
"Yeah."
"Sounds kinda loud," I reply.
"Maybe. Take a look at it and let me know what you think. It's in a bag here on the chair."

He's done getting dressed, so he heads out to the kitchen. Now, it's still dark in the room, cold in the house, and I am in no mood to move from under the covers, so I stay where I am. Sarah's door opens, and she comes in, sleepy eyed, with serious bedhead.

"Dad got a shirt?" she asks.
"Yeah."
"He wants you to look at it? Why?"
"He's afraid the plaid might be too loud. It's on the chair if you want to see it," I sleepily mumble. I hear the rustling of the bag, and the sound of the shirt coming out of the bag.

"It is too loud?" she asks, with a question in her voice.
"I don't know - I can't see it. Here, bring it to me."

She ignores me. "The shirt is too loud?" she says again. At this point, I sit up so I can see what's going on at the foot of the bed, and see my daughter holding the shirt, with her head cocked... listening to the shirt.

I'm not making these things up. This is my life!

I wasn't able to define "loudness" as it applies to clothes in a way that she understood (I tried!), so eventually she gave up and moved on and headed to the kitchen, where I heard her quizzing my husband about the loud shirt.

Life must be so baffling to her! It's amazing that she even still tries to understand these rules that make no sense. Slang and idioms will be the end of us both...

Happy Birthday, Mom

So today is my mom's birthday. Mom, you are and always have been an awesome example for me. I hope you have a great day! I love you.

Lets not leave out the grandkids... as is becoming our tradition, here are video greetings:

Not an actual BUG...

So Sarah and I spent last evening in the ER of Children's Hospital. Not where I'd like to spend my Sunday evening, but, we all know that there are some unappealing clauses in the parenting contract.

Sarah is fine - she was just dehydrated after a day of vomiting, and needed some IV fluids. It never ceases to amaze me the change one little bag of saline can make. She went from walking dead to the life of the ER. Makes a good case for staying current on your water intake.

Anyway, after blood work and x-rays, the diagnosis was stomach flu. This was the conclusion that I had reached earlier in the day, resulting in the following conversation:

"I think you're going to be fine, honey. You just have a stomach bug."
"A stomach bug?"
"Yes, honey. You'll be sick today, but you will start to feel better soon."
"A stomach BUG? A BUG?"

A sinking feeling settles in... we've been down a similar path before. "No, honey, not a real bug. That's just an expression. It just means a germ that makes you get sick."
"I do not have a bug in my stomach?"
"No, no bug."
"It is a germ?"
"Yes, a germ that makes your tummy feel sick and you throw up."
"A bug is a germ?"

The conversation got really messy after that, and it took me a few more minutes to assure her that there were not insects in her abdomen. Sigh. Will I ever learn??

Anyway, not a great day... especially from my car's perspective. My poor Saab was on the receiving end of vomit in the morning, and pee in the evening on the way home from the hospital. Well, we were sent there because she wasn't urinating, so I guess the hospital can consider the visit a success. Me, I'm just glad I have leather seats, and lots of anti-bacterial wipes.

Just overheard: "Mom, I POOPED! I POOPED! Pooping makes me feel BETTER! The stomach bug is GONE!"

I sure hope so.

Boxing Champ

So Madilyn has found another fave on the Wii... boxing. She has rocketed to the top of the charts with her boxing skill, and her style has earned its own name in our house. "The Madilyn" is complete offense, a super high-speed battering ram approach that's almost unstoppable. When Gary and I box, we have to agree not to use "The Madilyn", since there's really nothing you can do to thwart the attack except wait for your opponent's arms to tire out. Turns out that a 7 year old's arms have a lot more energy than that of a 40-something... hence the Champion status.

For my seester

Today is my sister's birthday, and the kids send these greetings, which are too big to e-mail. (Darn that new camera! I'm going to have to read the manual on how to take lower res movies!)

Hope you enjoy your day, seester! I went and saw Twilight again today in your honor. Still lovin' it! Love you -Happy Birthday!