The Loud Shirt

So Gary purchases a new shirt at his favorite store (Cabela's), but is uncertain of its appropriateness for work, seeing as it is green and red plaid. He and I are talking about this early in the morning, as he's getting ready for work, while I'm still laying in bed, trying to wake up.

"Green and red plaid?" I ask.
"Yeah."
"Sounds kinda loud," I reply.
"Maybe. Take a look at it and let me know what you think. It's in a bag here on the chair."

He's done getting dressed, so he heads out to the kitchen. Now, it's still dark in the room, cold in the house, and I am in no mood to move from under the covers, so I stay where I am. Sarah's door opens, and she comes in, sleepy eyed, with serious bedhead.

"Dad got a shirt?" she asks.
"Yeah."
"He wants you to look at it? Why?"
"He's afraid the plaid might be too loud. It's on the chair if you want to see it," I sleepily mumble. I hear the rustling of the bag, and the sound of the shirt coming out of the bag.

"It is too loud?" she asks, with a question in her voice.
"I don't know - I can't see it. Here, bring it to me."

She ignores me. "The shirt is too loud?" she says again. At this point, I sit up so I can see what's going on at the foot of the bed, and see my daughter holding the shirt, with her head cocked... listening to the shirt.

I'm not making these things up. This is my life!

I wasn't able to define "loudness" as it applies to clothes in a way that she understood (I tried!), so eventually she gave up and moved on and headed to the kitchen, where I heard her quizzing my husband about the loud shirt.

Life must be so baffling to her! It's amazing that she even still tries to understand these rules that make no sense. Slang and idioms will be the end of us both...