I don't THINK so...

Sarah and I have started to do sit-ups together every morning, as part of her physical therapy. Madilyn will join us as well, if she's awake. Anyway... my parents are in town, and Grandma was watching us help each other to do our 10 sit-ups.

Trying to help (?) she said, "Sarah, now that you're 12, you should do 12 sit ups."

Not missing a beat, Sarah turned to me and said "And you will do 43 sit ups!"

Thanks a lot, Grandma. That's SO not going to happen.

As simple as black and white?

Apparently my predilection for a black/white world view has been influenced by my upbringing. Consider the following advice (which, for the record, I completely support).

I was complaining to my dad about someone at church. This person had not fulfilled their responsibility, which resulted in a lot of extra stress and work for me. He commented that people like that are arrogant and self-centered, and need to be taught a lesson (or something to that effect). I then went on to counter with all of the hardship that this person had experienced in the past few weeks, and how things had been very difficult for them.

My dad looked at me for a moment, then said "Well, there it is. Either they're jerks who don't care about others, or they're people who are in a bind and should be forgiven. Don't keep waffling in the middle."

I thought there was a lot of wisdom in this observation. I do spend a lot of time waffling and complaining over things when I should just let go and move on. Hanging out in that gray area can be stressful, and I guess I never really broke it down like that. Thanks, Dad.

PS- Are you ALWAYS going to be smarter than me??

Playlist updates

I have this extremely annoying habit of listening to the same song over and over and over again, driving the people around me NUTS. To this day, my sister can't hear the song "The Look" by Roxette without screaming. (sorry sis! Thanks for loving me anyway). Anyway, my current fave is an oldie that I found on my iPod, covered in electronic dust, as it were. Bravado, by Rush, is a pretty awesome song.

If we burn our wings
Flying too close to the sun
If the moment of glory
Is over before it's begun
If the dream is won
Though everything is lost
We will pay the price,
But we will not count the cost

When the dust has cleared
And victory denied
A summit too lofty
River a little too wide
If we keep our pride
Though paradise is lost
We will pay the price,
But we will not count the cost

And if the music stops
There's only the sound of the rain
All the hope and glory
All the sacrifice in vain
[And] if love remains
Though everything is lost
We will pay the price,
But we will not count the cost

Since I've been pretty tight with my treadmill lately, I need some musical motivation to keep me going. It's nice to find songs that make you think.

It's a sad fact that things are so slow in my life lately that I've taken to posting song lyrics on my blog!

Enough!

Today we're scheduled to get hit with a BIG winter storm - up to 8 inches of snow. In my mind, I'll be on a plane, headed for someplace warm, like California. Enough of winter already!

Good news, I suppose, is that I'll finally be able to join my friend Kate for some xc skiing, now that the trails will have a good base (like that's what's been preventing me...)

I Don't Want to Grow Up

So I've been taking a life inventory of late, and decided that being a grown-up is highly over-rated. Seems like we spend all of our childhood waiting to be "grown-ups" so that we can do whatever we want. What no one tells you is that, once you become a grown-up, you STILL have to follow the rules, and probably spend even MORE time making choices based on other people. Sigh. I wish I was 6 again.

Sarah's new 'do

Sarah has struggled with trichotillomania (aka "trick" or hair pulling) for the last 2 years or so. At first, we tried to help by having her wear a beanie, thinking if she reached up to pull the hair, the beanie would remind her to stop. Unfortunately, this wasn't effective, but wearing the beanie became such a routine that there was no getting it off her head. period. She'd just reach under it to pull out her hair.

For whatever reason, she only pulls her hair using her left hand, never her right, so she had a pretty serious 80's style going on - super short on the left, long hair on the right. After she moved her pulling to the top of her head (think inverse mohawk), the left side started growing back in. For the past month or so, I've been trying to convince her to cut her hair short... balancing the two sides. It's a hard sell, since all her classmates have long, straight hair (even some of the boys!)

Anyway, she finally agreed to short hair, and after confirming it an hour or two later, and then not letting her back down the day of the appointment... she ended up with an adorable haircut! It's still very thin on top, but hey... comb-overs do work!

The best part of the deal... the change in hairstyle was enough to convince her to part with the beanie! OK, not totally, but now she only sleeps in it, and doesn't wear it to school. The fact that she's gotten TONS of positive feedback from her classmates really helps.

Let's hear it for small victories!!

PT Conferences: Madilyn

Madilyn is doing great in first grade. She's an amazing reader - she's reading at 3rd grade level! She's above average in both reading and math, and her only real problem is her tendency to prefer socializing to working.

But, it wouldn't be a conference without a black/white reference: Mrs. C commented that Madilyn has a hard time accepting problems that have more than one right answer, or more than one right way to do them. She just can't seem to wrap her head around that concept.

What am I doing to my poor kids?? I've always leaned toward black & white myself (gray can be SO confusing!) but I didn't realize the consequences were so far-reaching. My daughter is brought to tears by a geometry problem that has more than one answer! Sigh. I must have skipped a chapter in the parent handbook.

Oh, wait. I didn't get a parent handbook. Who do I talk to about that? Life would be so much easier if they came with instruction manuals... but instead I'm just makin' it up as I go!

PT conferences: Sarah

Tonight I went in for parent/teacher conferences. Sarah is doing well, and we mostly discussed her transition to middle school next year. I am worried that it will be a bit of a shock to her system... she's SO excited about the change, but I know she doesn't realize how different things will be. One example, as we drove past the middle school:

Sarah: "Where is the playground?"
Mom: "Middle school doesn't have a playground. There are fields for soccer, tennis, and baseball, but no playground equipment."
Sarah: "How can they swing at recess?" (Sarah swings every day)
Mom: "They don't have recess at middle school, honey."
long silence.
Sarah: "When do they swing?"
Mom: "They don't swing."
long, long silence.
Sarah: "Can I still swing at the park?"
Mom, relieved that she has come up with a solution: "Yes, of course!"

Since I don't have the best memories of middle school (does anyone?), I'm worried for her. But, I'm not doing her any favors by protecting her - it's better that she learns how to deal with things while she's still at home. I keep chanting that mantra - hopefully soon I'll believe it!

Cookie Factory

Our basement was overrun with Girl Scout cookies for a while as Madilyn and Grandpa organized a cookie-sorting party to prepare the orders for delivery. Sarah was also on-hand to offer some support.

My omission of one packing ticket caused quite a bit of commotion... "There's an extra box of Thin Mints!", but hey... I knew where it belonged. Not my fault they're not mind readers...

Anyway, I should be grateful that Madilyn started slowly this year, and only sold 118 boxes. She's so excited by the whole selling thing that next year, who knows how it will go! She gave me a year to get the system down.

Again, thanks to all who helped out!

They Made It

Well, Grandma & Grandpa braved the lake-effect snow, and made it to our house on Monday night. The kids are SO excited... and so is Mom. FREE babysitting!!

Released...sort of

The day that I have been longing for finally came today... Gary was released from the Bishopric!! Yeah! But wait. He was called as ward clerk, and has the same meeting schedule as... you guessed it... the Bishopric. So, he still leaves at 6 am on Sundays, and doesn't get home until after 3 pm.

Two happy side notes, though... he no longer has to call people to give talks, so maybe people will actually start answering their phones when they see our last name on their caller ID... and he gets to sit with us during Sacrament meeting. When he was released, Madilyn turned to me and whispered "Does this mean that Daddy will actually sit with us at church?" She started bouncing with happiness when I replied "Yes."

So now HE can be the human jungle gym during church!

A+ work

So my husband is so NOT one to toot his own horn, but I figured since his family reads this blog, I'll post it for everyone to see...

He had his performance appraisal, and got rated a 5 (out of 5). This is 3M's equivalent of a big, fat, gold star on his forehead. He was grumpy because the year he finally earned a rating that would net him a big, fat pay raise was the year that 3M cancelled ALL raises... but we both agreed that with the economy the way it is, the job security that comes with being a top performer is way more important.

Hurray for Gary!

Happy Birthday to Me

The night before my birthday, Madilyn asked to borrow my camera. Here is the result:

I love these kids!

Just a wagon, after all

So, last night, all my car delusions were put to rest. Gary and I were watching our favorite show, Chuck. The storyline involved Chuck and his spy partner/handler Sarah taking up residence in the suburbs as a typical, normal (read boring) married couple, living the good life on a cul-de-sac. Chuck is shown driving "home", and when they cut to a wide shot, I saw it... he was driving a 2008 Saab 9-3 SportCombi! My car! (except his was blue, not white).

Apparently, the car that I thought was cool is just a suburban cliche. Sigh. My sister-in-law was right... it IS just a station wagon. At least it's FAST.

Presidential Actions

From Madilyn's school assignment entitled "If I Were President":

If I were President, the first thing I would do is play basketball.

If I were President, I would eat pizza.

If I were President, I would travel to the Antarctic.

If I were President, I would had a pet hamster named Harry.

If I were President, I would pass a law that no hurting penguins.

If I were President, I would help Africa.

Just a glimpse into the mind of a girl who, at the moment, seems intent on saving artic wildlife with the help of a hamster named Harry... while eating pizza and playing basketball. I have no idea about the African reference...

Valentine Bliss

My girls delivered my valentine's day gifts today...

A supersize Hershey bar.
A Dove chocolate bar.
A Cadbury chocolate bar.
A bag of Hershey "Bliss" squares... chocolate, of course.

Do they know their momma or what? I'm floating down the happy river of endorphins...

Sadly funny

Apparently my husband got some razzing from co-workers after they overheard the following 30 second conversation:

"Hi... this is Gary." - short pause - "When I was there last week, I forgot to make my reservation for next week." - slightly longer pause - "right. See you then. Bye."

The above conversation was with the hotel in Alexandria, where his current project is underway. Reasons that this is sadly funny:

1. The front desk staff recognize him by his first name ONLY. A reasonably common name, at that.
2. They know his schedule - note that he did NOT tell them when he was arriving or departing.
3. They don't need a credit card to confirm his reservation.

Apparently, a similar conversation occurs each week with Jose, at the rental car agency.

At our house, we thrive on predictability, but I really think this is getting a bit out of hand...

Say What??

Madilyn had Girl Scouts last Tuesday, with one of the other moms substituting for one of the normal troop leaders. Sarah and I were at the school also, putting up artwork in the front showcase. As usual, Sarah got away from me, and headed over to where the Girl Scouts were wrapping up their activity. When I caught up with her, she was at the refreshment table, looking for a handout (typical!).

I introduced myself to the substitute leader as Madilyn's mom. After some pleasantries, she asked "Does your daughter have an autism diagnosis?"

Surprised, I replied that yes, she did.

"I thought so," replied the woman. "I have a 14 year old son with high functioning autism (aka Aspergers), and I recognized a lot of Madilyn's behaviors during our activity."

What??? Stop the train! "No, Sarah has autism... not Madilyn," I replied.

"What? Really? Oh. Well. Are you sure about Madilyn?"

"Yes, I'm sure," I said, starting to doubt myself. "What behaviors did you see?"

She went on to say that Madilyn has definite ideas about how things need to be done and about right and wrong. She was very involved in making sure that the other girls did things correctly and followed the rules, and seemed overly grown-up in the way that she dealt with things. The leader then concluded with "things are very black and white for her. There's really no gray area."

We chatted some more, and I told her that I believed that Madilyn's behaviors were more a product of living with someone with moderate/severe autism than a reflection of her own state of mind. After all, that's all Madilyn's ever known, and her social skills have developed in that environment. In our house, there really isn't any gray. We don't joke or kid around much, because Sarah takes everything so literally and gets so upset about things.

I haven't been able to accurately recreate the conversation - it really was more conversational than confrontational... but it was eye-opening. After coming home and thinking about it, I realized two things. First, that Sarah has a much greater effect on the entire household than I had ever realized. I haven't yet decided if that merits intervention or not.

Second, the gut-wrenching feeling that I experienced at the thought of Madilyn having autism was directly tied to how I see the condition... someone who will never live independently, get married, have a family, etc. But that's only Sarah's version of autism, and autism is different for everyone.

Even if Madilyn did fit the criteria (and I don't think she does), it's not a big deal. She IS going to be independent, have relationships, and live a full life, and that's what's important. She might be quirky and slightly OCD... but she could have gotten that from her mother just as easily as from her sister!

Anyway, the above is just another confirmation that I did a great job of naming my blog. It's my life! Welcome to it.

A new calling

So today at church I was released as the 1st Counselor in the Young Womens (YW) organization. Mixed feelings about that - I will really miss the energy of being with the youth, but it was a pretty demanding calling. I didn't last long - only 7 months! Strange timing, too, with Sarah entering YW at the beginning of March. I was planning on keeping her in line during activities, etc. Maybe it's time for her to venture out more on her own. Don't know.

My new calling is as 1st Counselor in Relief Society, responsible for education. That means that I'll get to fill in for any absent teachers/last minute emergencies. That will keep me on my toes! Luckily, a the last few years of teaching seminary, sunday school, and young women have prepared me well. If I can handle the youth, well, hopefully I can handle the adults! I'm not sure which group asks the tougher questions, though. I'll also be leading a teacher development class, so I'll get the chance to brush up on my teaching skills. Hmmm...I'm not sure if or how that "If you can't do, then teach" expression applies to teaching teachers...

I do know that the Lord knows what he's doing with all of these callings, and eventually I'll see the plan. Time to go get book-smart!

A lesson in goal setting

So Madilyn joined Girl Scouts, which means, of course, that we now have an in-house supplier for cookies! Her troop is not super-motivated when it comes to cookie selling (good at her age). They didn't set a troop goal for sales, and each girl was left to her own to decide if she wanted to set a goal.

Madilyn came home and told me that her goal was to sell 70 boxes. I was a little concerned, since we'd never done this before, and frankly, I didn't want the pressure of having to "make up the difference". I asked her how she came up with her goal, and she said, "well, I'm 7, and I just added a zero to the end."

Thank heaven she didn't think to add seven zeros!

Anyway, turns out GS cookies are ridiculously easy to sell, and she exceeded her goal by almost 50 boxes. Good work, girl! Thank you to all who contributed!!

Truth is FUNNY

I read Confessions of a 40-something woman online today, and loved it. Although I don't agree 100 %, it made me laugh, especially the line:

"What doesn't kill me does not make me stronger. It makes me anxious, bitchy, and vulnerable...but nobody wants to see that embroidered on a pillow."

For the record, I don't read Oprah.com... I got to the link via CNN. That's my story.