The Perils of Initiative

So, every parent wants their child to be aware of the needs of others, and to take the initiative when they can, right?

Yesterday afternoon, I wasn't feeling very well around the time that Madilyn's bus dropped her off after school.  (Actually, that's a huge understatement, but elaborating would really be TMI for this blog).  I usually like to meet her at the bus stop and walk the quarter mile home with her; it gives me a chance to chat with her about her day, uninterrupted by other issues.  But Madilyn is plenty old enough to walk home by herself, and has done so on many occasions, so I stayed in bed.

That's where the initiative part comes in.  Sarah decided, unbeknownst to me, that she would meet Madilyn at the bus stop and walk home with her.  So she did.  And I didn't know a thing about it, until Sarah came into my room and announced "I got her!  Madilyn's home!"  It's not unusual for Sarah to make pronouncements regarding the arrival or departure of others; in fact, it's almost expected.  But when I looked at her and saw that her glasses were dark (transitions lenses), the "I got her!" part registered.  Madilyn, close on her sister's heels, confirmed that Sarah did, indeed, walk all the way to her bus stop, and then back to the house with her.

Sarah was so happy with herself she was giggly.  How could I ruin such a proud moment?  She saw that I was sick, that something needed to be done, and she did it.  I high-fived her, and thanked her for being such a good big sister.  (I privately thanked Madilyn for walking her sister home, too).

So now what do I do?  We live in a safe area, with good neighbors (who, if they had seen her, would have stopped her and brought her back home).  But Sarah just doesn't have any awareness of danger.  I'm certain she was walking down the middle of the street, and I shudder to think if she had tried to cross the "main" road - maybe she would have looked for cars, maybe not.  But the scariest thing is that she probably would have gotten into a car with anyone who asked.  So, where do I draw the line?  Because now she's so pleased with herself that she wants to do it every day. On the positive side, that's a half mile of walking, a lot of independence and initiative, and (really) very little risk.  But she's got the decision-making skills of a 3 year old, and I wouldn't let a toddler meet her sister at the bus alone.

I've said it before, and I'm saying it now - parenting is NOT for sissies.  This #$&% is HARD... and it's not going to get any easier.