Always better with a friend

So as I posted before, I've signed up for the 2011 Pedal & Paddle adventure (kayaking and biking) and am really looking forward to it.  Well, now I'm even MORE excited, because my friend Clarinda is going to be joining me!!  Outdoor adventures are always more fun with friends... and if we made it through Girls Camp together, pampered camping should be a snap!

Apple picking

End of September always means apple picking at our house.  We head off to Stillwater, and Aamodt's orchards.  Our favorite to pick are the Haralson apples, as they make the best apple butter.  

This year, because of the unusually warm spring, the entire growing season was shifted, and most of the Haralsons were picked by the time we got there.  This wasn't really a problem - we filled our little bag, and then bought the rest of what we needed in the barn.  The ones in the barn were much bigger, and easier to process for the apple butter.  Of course, we couldn't leave without a pie, some donuts, and apple cider, too...

Posing at the tree.

Having a tall (and strong!) Dad comes in handy...

My kids just can't smile naturally when there's a camera pointed at them.

Cider and apple donuts - YUM!

Training

Better just keep cranking it out... I took the plunge and signed up for next June's peddle & paddle - and chose the 72 mile ride option. I better start putting some serious mileage on this fall!

This was one of those rides when you really want to quit right after you get started... it was in the low 50's with a drizzle. The sun wasn't really up yet, and the first 10 miles were just slogging it out. I was glad that I stuck with it - it warmed up somewhat (and I raised my core temp), and the sun kept peeking out, and the rain disappeared. Proof yet again that sometimes you have to endure the crud to experience the good.

toxicgirl's Activities | RunKeeper

Disconnecting

So, I'm going to be trying an experiment - I'm going to try partially disconnecting from the internet.  I say partially, because I'm still going to check email, and I'm still going to blog, but I'm going to severely limit my surfing and facebook time. 

I think I'm far too addicted, and need to step back.  We'll see how this goes...

Crying over pudding

Yes, you read the title correctly - I actually starting crying over pudding.  Specifically, over the flavor.  An explanation is necessary, I agree.

Madilyn is home from school sick today, and has been hanging out in bed.  I asked her if she wanted a pudding cup, and she enthusiastically agreed.  I went to find a chocolate pudding - her favorite.  When I checked the pantry, we were all out of chocolate, and only had vanilla.  I brought her one, and asked her if that was OK.  She said "Sure, Mom.  I like vanilla," and took it without a second thought.

I actually teared up at this point.  She looked at me like I was nuts (and rightly so).  "Mom, are you crying?" she asked.

I explained that I was just so grateful that I didn't have to go through the 15 minutes of yelling, blaming, and calming down that I would have had to handle if it had been her sister not getting her desired flavor of pudding.

When I shared this experience with my therapist, she commented how similar my responses are to those of an abused spouse - always anticipating a blowup, waiting for the next trigger, etc.  Wow.  That really caught my attention, because there's some truth in that.  I don't like to admit it, but the kid does make me cower sometimes, and really does drive our interactions.

Now the challenge is to take that knowledge, and use it to improve things.  I may not be able to change Sarah, but I sure can change how I react to her.  Again I say it - parenting is tough.

The Perils of Initiative

So, every parent wants their child to be aware of the needs of others, and to take the initiative when they can, right?

Yesterday afternoon, I wasn't feeling very well around the time that Madilyn's bus dropped her off after school.  (Actually, that's a huge understatement, but elaborating would really be TMI for this blog).  I usually like to meet her at the bus stop and walk the quarter mile home with her; it gives me a chance to chat with her about her day, uninterrupted by other issues.  But Madilyn is plenty old enough to walk home by herself, and has done so on many occasions, so I stayed in bed.

That's where the initiative part comes in.  Sarah decided, unbeknownst to me, that she would meet Madilyn at the bus stop and walk home with her.  So she did.  And I didn't know a thing about it, until Sarah came into my room and announced "I got her!  Madilyn's home!"  It's not unusual for Sarah to make pronouncements regarding the arrival or departure of others; in fact, it's almost expected.  But when I looked at her and saw that her glasses were dark (transitions lenses), the "I got her!" part registered.  Madilyn, close on her sister's heels, confirmed that Sarah did, indeed, walk all the way to her bus stop, and then back to the house with her.

Sarah was so happy with herself she was giggly.  How could I ruin such a proud moment?  She saw that I was sick, that something needed to be done, and she did it.  I high-fived her, and thanked her for being such a good big sister.  (I privately thanked Madilyn for walking her sister home, too).

So now what do I do?  We live in a safe area, with good neighbors (who, if they had seen her, would have stopped her and brought her back home).  But Sarah just doesn't have any awareness of danger.  I'm certain she was walking down the middle of the street, and I shudder to think if she had tried to cross the "main" road - maybe she would have looked for cars, maybe not.  But the scariest thing is that she probably would have gotten into a car with anyone who asked.  So, where do I draw the line?  Because now she's so pleased with herself that she wants to do it every day. On the positive side, that's a half mile of walking, a lot of independence and initiative, and (really) very little risk.  But she's got the decision-making skills of a 3 year old, and I wouldn't let a toddler meet her sister at the bus alone.

I've said it before, and I'm saying it now - parenting is NOT for sissies.  This #$&% is HARD... and it's not going to get any easier.

Desiring the unattainable

Isn't it just so true that the moment that you can't have something is the moment that it becomes infinitely desirable?

I was planning on a long bike ride this morning after getting the kids off to school.  I woke up only moderately excited about it; after all, I was pretty sick last night, didn't know what route to take, wasn't sure where my cycling clothes were (or if they were even clean...), needed to do my physical therapy exercises first... yada, yada, yada.  Life was definitely threatening to get in the way.

Then Madilyn got up and found out that she had the same stomach/digestive issues that had me in agony last night.  Immediately, warring impulses sprang to life in my head - my virtuous side had serious empathy for the girl; she's got some serious misery to contend with for the next 12 hours.  But then I heard from my wicked, whiny side, who noted that "today is a beautiful fall day and, oh yeah, it's supposed to rain the rest of the week", and "why, oh why, do my plans always get ruined?!"  Suddenly, I wanted nothing more than to be on my bike.  Because I couldn't.

I guess the moral of the story here is to be honest with myself, and be more accountable for how I choose to use my time. Because the truth of the matter is that I have missed far more chances to ride because of my poor choices than I have because I need to take care of someone else.  It's just way easier to blame external circumstances.  I think (hope?) these realizations mean that I'm finally starting to understand how to "Seize the day!"

Now, if I could only figure out how to turn off the inner drama queen, so I can stop pouting!