Desiring the unattainable

Isn't it just so true that the moment that you can't have something is the moment that it becomes infinitely desirable?

I was planning on a long bike ride this morning after getting the kids off to school.  I woke up only moderately excited about it; after all, I was pretty sick last night, didn't know what route to take, wasn't sure where my cycling clothes were (or if they were even clean...), needed to do my physical therapy exercises first... yada, yada, yada.  Life was definitely threatening to get in the way.

Then Madilyn got up and found out that she had the same stomach/digestive issues that had me in agony last night.  Immediately, warring impulses sprang to life in my head - my virtuous side had serious empathy for the girl; she's got some serious misery to contend with for the next 12 hours.  But then I heard from my wicked, whiny side, who noted that "today is a beautiful fall day and, oh yeah, it's supposed to rain the rest of the week", and "why, oh why, do my plans always get ruined?!"  Suddenly, I wanted nothing more than to be on my bike.  Because I couldn't.

I guess the moral of the story here is to be honest with myself, and be more accountable for how I choose to use my time. Because the truth of the matter is that I have missed far more chances to ride because of my poor choices than I have because I need to take care of someone else.  It's just way easier to blame external circumstances.  I think (hope?) these realizations mean that I'm finally starting to understand how to "Seize the day!"

Now, if I could only figure out how to turn off the inner drama queen, so I can stop pouting!

All things Clarinda: Back To Blogging: Women Who Inspire

Wow. I'm the subject of a blog entry... and not one ranting about something that I did wrong!

All things Clarinda: Back To Blogging: Women Who Inspire

I sent the post link to my husband, who read it, and simply smiled. He missed a big opportunity to gain major brownie points with a comment like "I don't need to read a blog post to know how fabulous you are!" (Yes, even after 15 years of marriage, I still haven't accepted that looking for compliments from him is like searching for icebergs in the Sahara...  :) )

Anyway, I giggled like a schoolgirl when I read the post. It's a HUGE warm fuzzy when someone whom you admire pays you a compliment. Thanks for making my day, Clarinda, and for helping me realize how uplifting it can be to simply share what's in your heart and head.  I love, appreciate, and admire so many people, and yet rarely ever say a word about it.  Time to change that!

Back to being twisted

As is true with so many things in life, I have reverted to my old twisted self since gradually abandoning the exercises that straightened me out.  Things in life just take work, and apparently, my (physical) alignment is no exception!

As I blogged about earlier, I was in physical therapy to straighten myself out, and (literally) remove the pain in my butt.  The exercises worked, and I was able to move without pain, and felt good.  But of course, once you start feeling good, you wonder why you need to keep doing the exercises, and easily fall back into old habits.

Well, all it took was walking Madilyn to school once to bring the pain back... and send me straight back to the therapist.  So, I'm back in physical therapy... hoping to learn once again that things just don't change overnight, and actually require work.  Daily.  For a long time.

Taking the plunge...

It's been a lifelong dream of mine to own a kayak.  I remember going to demo days when I was in my 20's, seeking out the perfect boat.

Now, when I say I'm taking the plunge, I wish I could say that I'm actually going to buy a kayak, but that's not the case.  Instead, I'm going to tackle one of the hurdles that prevents me from enjoying the sport.

I can't swim.

I can float (kinda), and splash around well enough, but if I actually needed to travel any distance on my own in water, well... it wouldn't happen.  Especially if there were currents involved.  Up to this point, I've compensated for this disability by always kayaking with someone, who (I assume) could help me if things went bad.

But now that I actually have the time and funds to do some kayaking, I don't have anyone who's available to go with me.  Although solo kayaking isn't the safest, I am tired of waiting for all conditions to be perfect before getting involved.  So... I'm signing up for private swimming lessons in the hopes that I will gain the confidence for some easy solo lake trips.

The last swim lessons I had (over 30 years ago) were not terribly successful; in fact, I seem to remember the instructor telling my mother something to the effect of "not everyone can get comfortable in the water and be a successful swimmer..." but I will not let this affect my determination to try.  I am not coordinated, I am not athletic, but I am not going to be a quitter.  The end result may not be pretty, but I will learn to swim.  I just hope, for the sake of my wallet, that it only takes one 8 session block of lessons.

9/9 update:  I did it!  Starting on the 28th, I'll be taking lessons.

First day of school

Today is the first day of school, and everyone in the family is excited! (Sarah might not look it in the picture below, but the girl just doesn't photograph well.) Sarah is in 7th grade, Madilyn is in 3rd, and Mom is in heaven. *happy dance*

Adding to the wonder of the day, BOTH girl's busses were ON TIME today. Honestly, that has never, ever happened on the first day of school, and is a VERY.BIG.THING for someone with autism! Sarah actually left for her first day happy and flapping her hands instead of in tears. JOY!

Here are Madilyn's thoughts this morning:

It's been too long

I haven't posted anything worth reading in quite some time, and I regret that. But... tomorrow I get my life back - school starts!!

I am SO looking forward to being able to complete a thought without being interrupted. My mind is reeling with the possibilities!

toxicgirl's Activities | RunKeeper

First ride in a long time with comfortable temps!

toxicgirl's Activities | RunKeeper