Personal Revelation

I've been greatly concerned regarding my lack of progress in... well, everything.. in my life lately. Although not concerned enough to actually do anything about it, I did feel a little better after reading an article on procrastination in Psychology Today. The difference between laziness and procrastination is that one involves guilt and the other doesn't. Since my life seems ruled by guilt...

YAY! I'm not lazy!!! I'm just a world-class procrastinator!!!

Again to the saying on my kitchen wall... "If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done."

This week's tunes

What's on repeat on my ipod: Leave Out All the Rest by Linkin Park

Also recently discovered the following groups (yes, I know I'm behind the curve!):

• Shinedown (Breaking Inside, If You Only Knew, Second Chance)
• Theory of a Dead Man (Not Meant to Be)
• Train (Calling All Angels)
• 3 Doors Down (Here Without You)

and, a big departure from the above, Chris Brown's Forever is also getting a lot of play during my workouts. Man, I wish I could dance.

Twisted, Confused, and Completely Lacking Credibility

At my recent physical, I learned quite a bit about myself.

First off, I am (physically) twisted. Not withstanding my mental status (see item 2), I'm a wreck. After telling my doc that I felt "out of sorts" and "not aligned", she referred me to a physical therapist. The therapist, whom I love, declared that I resemble someone cut in half and reassembled by a drunken magician. Apparently, my hips point in one direction, and my upper torso in the opposite... which explains the 7 months of pain in my glute, and my bum knee. So I'm doing some pretty bizarre exercises to "balance" me out, and I go once a week for therapy. I swear I will end up with my left arm longer than my right with how hard they pull on it, but for now, I have faith that I will eventually straighten out.

Secondly, my mental status, or lack of coherent thought. This has been a big problem lately. I am simply in a deep fog... I just sit around (see previous post regarding "potato" status). Anyway, this, combined with my persistent lack of weight loss, has led my doctor to suspect insulin resistance (or pre-diabetes). So now I'm taking metformin to help my body properly use glucose. She started me out on a very low dose to minimize side effects, so it will take a while to know if this is a successful treatment.

And finally, and most depressingly, I've learned that I am indeed, perimenopausal. So the rollercoaster ride of hormones has begun... leading to the loss of all credibility with my husband. After all, if I have a complaint, it's a lot easier to blame the hormones...

So, as I stated... I'm twisted, confused, and completely lacking credibility. Gotta love it.

Morning Manipulation

It's Friday morning, and both kids need a bath before school. This announcement is met with groans and moans.

Sarah opens the volley by telling her sister "You go first."

"No, you go!" Madilyn responds.

"I do not want to go."

At this point, I declare "Someone's got to go. I'm going upstairs right now to start the bath."

As I turn and begin climbing the stairs, I hear Sarah say "I'll go first."

Madilyn quickly responds with "NO! I'll go first. Mom! I'm coming!!" and passes me running up the stairs.

I turn around to see Sarah settle back into her chair with a small smile and quietly say to herself "OK, I'll stay here."

This might sound like a fairly commonplace sibling exchange, but that is EXACTLY the point! And even if it makes me a bad parent, I am proud of my oldest for shamelessly manipulating her younger sister.

Pure Potato

Sarah was home from school with a purported stomach ache... Since I was feeling equally nauseated, I laid on the couch while she sat in the chair and watched TV.

I awakened to a figure standing over me, declaring:

You. Are. A. Couch. Potato!

Perhaps you have to know her, but it was pretty hilarious... after the annoyance of a nap interrupted faded.

Tonawanda? Whatever.

Tonawanda, New York.

That's my husband's new assignment, to handle capital equipment installations in the Tonawanda facility. I was actually a little bit excited when he told me the project there is a lot smaller and won't take up as much of his time, and he wouldn't need to travel there every week. Then I realized the catch... he never said he was taken off the Alexandria assignment.

And he wasn't. Now he has two facilities for which he is responsible. So if he's not in New York, he's upstate. Bottom line - he's not at home.

I am grateful he has a job.
I am grateful he has a job.
I am grateful he has a job.
Repeat ad nauseum.

Grumpy, Grumpy, Grumpy

I am not dead.

There are days when I wish I was, but I am still among the living. I have been in a very grumpy rut lately, and every post that I write ends up sounding bitter and snarky... not something that I want to put out there for all to see. I'm lost without a BFF, and my head has not been a very pleasant place to be for the past few months. I'm hopeful that spring will help me turn things around. Gary's advice: I need to get a best friend.

Well, thanks. Unfortunately, I've lost the directions to the BFF store and so I haven't been able to run out and pick one up. Maybe if I google it...

I have a huge backlog of postings to put out there, and I will. Soon. But, since it's supposed to rain all week (increasing my grumpiness), maybe not that soon.