Lunchbox

I jumped into the shower while Sarah was finishing her breakfast. When I got out, I called for her to come and get dressed, and she said "I'm busy making lunch". While the fact that she actually responded to me verbally is shocking, when I went into the kitchen, I found a perfectly packed lunch. She said "I have a protein, a grain, and a vegetable!" Sure enough, she had a roll, some grape tomatoes, a yogurt, and a PediaSure all properly wrapped up and put in her lunch box with a straw and a spoon. The only thing missing was a napkin, which I suspect was next on her list before I interrupted her. Wow! That kid is amazing.

She's eating

Well, it took 5 WEEKS, but Sarah finally overcame her fear of eating. As I write this, she is sitting nearby with a bowl of Cheerios, happily munching away. It took 2 therapists and lots of time doing things that normally wouldn't be associated with eating (like cutting pictures of food out of magazines) to make the strides, but the end result is that she now understands a lot more about nutrition and the importance of eating from all the food groups. I can't tell you how much I love her "people" and how important they are in her life!

From a Kindergarten teacher

Today was Madilyn's parent/teacher school conference. She's doing really well, and the teacher was full of praise for her abilities. When I inquired regarding her social skills, her teacher mentioned that generally she got along really well with others, but that there was a very clear distinction in (Madilyn's) mind between right and wrong, and she didn't really understand why anyone would choose to do something wrong. I believe the teacher used the phrase "there's black, and there's white, and, in her opinion, there's really no gray in between."

Welcome to our world!

Party Time

Today we celebrated Sarah's birthday at Color Me Mine, a kid-friendly ceramics studio. Sarah's interest in painting lasted about 5 minutes, with the remaining time spent asking "can we open presents yet?" She invited her entire Sunday School class, so we filled the party room with 9 girls aged 6 to 12. Everyone had a great time, especially Mom, who really enjoyed the fact that someone ELSE had to clean up the mess at the end!

A few extra words

It's amazing how much difference a few extra words can make. Sarah recently had an orthodontic expander installed. As with all orthodontics, food choices become more limited. The assistant, showing me a list, said "here are the foods that she's not allowed to eat." Unfortunately, all Sarah's autistic brain heard was "... she's not allowed to eat". We've been struggling since Monday to convince her that she can't wait until June (when the expander is removed) to eat. This would all be comically funny if it weren't life threatening. Some day, looking at her beautiful smile, I'll laugh about this...

Gray in my life

Gray - and the lack of it - has such a presence in my life. Depression causes entire days to be just gray and dismal. Those days, it's a challenge just to focus. Life seems drab and just blah. Those are the gray times that I hate. Those are the times that I wish for a life without gray.

There are times, however, when I am cursed to have a life without gray... a different kind of gray. Living with someone with autism completely changes your perspective on the world. Just today I realized that the gray zone - the distinction between black and white - has been fading from my world view. Having to explain everything to my daughter, who only comprehends black and white, has led me to simplify my own world view.

I want to use this blog to remind myself of the consequences of doing so, and to record some of the funny moments that arise when you view life without the gray.

Gray, defined

Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1)

gray /greɪ/

1. (adj.) of a color between white and black; having a neutral hue.
2. (adj.) dark, dismal, or gloomy: gray skies.
3. (adj.) dull, dreary, or monotonous.
4. (adj.) having gray hair; gray-headed.
5. (adj.) pertaining to old age; mature.
6. (adj.) Informal. pertaining to, involving, or composed of older persons: gray households.
7. (adj.) old or ancient.
8. (adj.) indeterminate and intermediate in character: The tax audit concentrated on deductions in the gray area between purely personal and purely business expenses.
9. (n.) any achromatic color; any color with zero chroma, intermediate between white and black.
10. (n.) something of this color.
11. (n.) gray material or clothing: to dress in gray.
12. (n.) an unbleached and undyed condition.
13. (n.) (often initial capital letter) a member of the Confederate army in the American Civil War or the army itself.
14. (n.) a horse of a gray color.
15. (n.) a horse that appears white but is not an albino.
16. (v.) to make or become gray.